Ask Elizabeth

Hi Elizabeth,

I need some advice. I have a boyfriend who is 10 years younger than I am. We always get stared at when we go places. He’s definitely good looking so girls will hit on him all the time, even right in front of me. I try not to get jealous but sometimes I find myself feeling not so great about myself. He assured me he only has eyes for me but I can’t help but doubt myself. How do I find my confidence and stop doubting his feelings for me?

Cougar in love

Dear Cougar in Love,

I am sorry that you are feeling this way. First of all, I truly believe that age is just a number. If you have found someone you truly love, then his age or yours shouldn’t matter. As for people staring at you, let them. Be proud of who you are with and have faith when he tells you that he only has eyes for you. You need to trust him because, without trust, you cannot have love; they go hand in hand. Unless he proves that he can’t be trusted, believe in him and your relationship. Too many people let their doubts and insecurities get in the way and tend to lose what could be a long lasting relationship. Don’t let that happen to you.

Hey Elizabeth,

I just got promoted at work and I’m now a team leader. I have a lot of responsibilities and handle more than 100 clients. I am having problems with another coworker who is in another department. She keeps trying to tell me how to handle my clients. It’s getting frustrating because I’m her superior but she has been there six months longer than I have. I don’t want to cause problems by being rude and telling her to back off. But I’m getting to that point. How do I approach her without coming off as being rude?

Team leader in charge

Dear Team Leader in Charge,

There must have been something that your supervisor saw in you that made him/her want to promote you. There is a way to be firm but kind, no nonsense, yet gentle. Talk to your co-worker, maybe she is just trying to help. Ask her nicely to just let you do your job and if you make a mistake, then that is on you and not her, and it will be up to you to correct it. If she becomes rude or defensive, just remember to be kind. It makes you the bigger person and makes her look bad. If things continue, then you may have to take this up the chain of command and notify your supervisor of the issue and let him/her handle it. Becoming rude or forceful will only make your work situation worse.

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