Ask Elizabeth

Dear Elizabeth,

I am in a predicament. I witnessed my best friend’s boyfriend kissing another girl. I want to tell her but I am afraid that she’ll hate me. I feel guilty every time I am with her and she talks about how much she loves him and how she is planning a future with him. I don’t know what to do. Any advice?

M.C

Dear M.C,

My advice to you is tell your friend what you witnessed. If she is truly your friend, and trusts you, then she will appreciate what you say to her and act accordingly. If she finds out from someone else, and then learns that you knew about it, she may resent you and end your friendship anyway. If she is angry with you for voicing your concern, then she must not be that great of a friend to begin with. If it were you, what would you want?

Dear Elizabeth,

I just discovered that my 17-year-old daughter is pregnant and she has decided to keep and raise the baby. I have to admit that I am angry and hurt by this situation and find myself wishing that the baby did not exist. I am finding it very hard to support her and be happy for her. I cry all the time and am so angry that I don’t even want to look at her. I feel like a horrible mom. What do I do?

S.B

Dear S.B,

I am sorry that you’re feeling this way. I understand that her young age is not ideal for becoming a mother, but there is nothing you can do about this baby’s existence. I can almost guarantee you that once that innocent child arrives, the love that you feel for him/her will be incredible.

It’s OK to be angry and hurt, but you will have to get over it. Your daughter is going to need all the love and support that she can get. You are going to have to teach her to be a good mother by being a good mother to her.

Talk to your daughter and explain to her why you are angry, and ask her for time so that you can come to terms and accept her decision to be a mother at 17. Then, you take a deep breath and give her a giant hug, then help her prepare for a lifetime of motherhood.

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